Workplace rudeness and incivility are pervasive issues. Recent research highlights that over half of Australian workers report that they experience or witness incivility in the workplace every week. This problem is only growing, with a projected 24.7 billion incidents in the US alone by the end of 2024. The issue doesn’t discriminate across industries and can manifest as rude remarks, dismissive behaviour, or exclusion from workplace activities and essential communications.
Who’s impacted by this?
Most of us will experience incivility at some point at work. More than 50% experience it weekly. And the research says you’re more likely to cop it if you’re new, female, in a subordinate position, or from an ethnic minority. I was running a programme for a series of different organisations and heard many examples of lived experience from those groups that shows this is a live issue, and still very much prevalent in society and the workplace.
It’s an issue that seems to be more prevalent post-pandemic – perhaps in part because of the increased stress individuals and organisations have been and continue to be under. But also, when we started working through our computers rather than face-to-face, somehow, we also lost the art of being able to interact and engage with others.
What’s the impact of this sort of behaviour?
Research shows how incivility can spiral and contribute to toxic work cultures, especially when left unchecked by leadership. That’s bad news – as the individual experience becomes the collective experience.
A study in Australian healthcare found that workplace rudeness negatively affects task completion and employee well-being, particularly when it comes from supervisors. Studies also show that 66% of workers report decreased productivity due to rudeness, while 59% believe it damages morale. Incivility also has more subtle but significant consequences, such as increased stress, reduced collaboration, and lower levels of creativity. It can also lead to higher turnover rates as employees become disengaged and seek more respectful environments.
On an individual level, incivility can lead to emotional exhaustion, reduced well-being, and even physical health problems over time. When employees feel disrespected, their engagement drops significantly, negatively impacting overall team performance.
What’s really unfortunate about this is that as burnout affects more and more people, individuals’ tolerance for managing or ignoring toxicity, rudeness, or incivility is reduced. So there are more bite-backs, sharp comments, and talking behind people’s backs, all of which perpetuate this sort of behaviour. When we’re in the middle of dysfunctional stress ourselves, it reduces our ability to manage our responses and our behaviours proactively. We become both part of the problem
What do to about it?
The first question to ask is, are you safe and is this behaviour having a significant impact on your health and wellbeing? If so, seek assistance from HR or your union, or see your EAP or GP.
The contagion effect says that negative behaviours spread faster than positive ones. So, the key is to buffer the negative behaviours as much as possible. If it’s customers/clients or patients being rude, a couple of different things can help. If the team around you is positive and you have strong relationships, that can help dilute the impact of hostile and rude clients. Management having clear boundaries around what they will and won’t accept is also helpful (and acting on those boundaries). I heard a recent example of a gym member having his gym membership cancelled because of his ongoing rude, inappropriate and hostile behaviour towards staff and other members.
Is it a one off or is it a pattern?
We have all been guilty of a one-off snarky comment. If you know the person well, you can probably do a version of “ouch” to let them know – or ignore it. We tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt much more than we do with other people. You could also take that as a sign that there may be something going on for that person, and that the snarkiness is actually a symptom that could be gently explored.
But if it’s a pattern, do something about it early rather than later. That might mean speaking to your boss. It might mean talking to HR. It might mean addressing it with the person directly IF you have a good and safe relationship with them.
The role of the boss
Bosses are key to this. Leaders need to set the tone for civility and act as role models, as their behaviour cascades across the organisation and often has a disproportionate impact. Promoting decent leadership and ensuring managers are trained to both recognise and effectively handle workplace tensions can significantly reduce the frequency of uncivil behaviour. So many managers and leaders “see” the behaviour but simply don’t know what to do in the moment, so just ignore it.
More broadly, is the organisational culture inclusive? Is it safe for bystanders to say something? If not, the bystander or upstander training isn’t going to work – the fundamental issues need to be addressed. Remember toxic workplaces START with incivility…
How are we contributing to the culture?
Interestingly, we all have a role to play here as well. And that is to look at our own behaviour and how we are contributing to this. Are we being caught up in the new way of interacting? Are we anticipating that people are going to behave badly and so look at all behaviour through the lens of a negativity bias?
Resilience
Research shows that the healthier we are more generally, outside of work, with the usual suspects of: exercise, sleep, connection, nutrition and purpose – the more likely we are to build resilience to deal with this effectively inside work.
The Takeaway
A reminder that having positive teammates can buffer those that bring you down: negative relationships have four to seven times as much impact on your sense of thriving as do energising, positive ones. In other words, you need a small group of energisers to offset the effects of each jerk.
More Resources..
Toxic workplaces start with incivility
Are emotions in the workplace contagious
Emotional Contagion at the Workplace: Antecedents and Outcomes
Emotions Are Contagious—Choose Your Company Wisely
How Contagious Are Your Emotions?
Spotting Toxic Emotions Before They Infect You At Work
The Trickle-Down Effect of Good (and Bad) Leadership
Harvard Business Review: Emotional Contagion Can Take Down Your Whole Team
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