What to expect if you are made redundant
A few weeks ago I wrote about what questions to ask if you are made redundant. That post dealt with the mechanics of the redundancy: what questions to ask, how your severance payment is calculated etc.
The next bit though, is the important bit, and that’s how you feel about it all and how you deal with it going forward.
- The first thing to say about this is that there is no “right” way to feel. We are, after all, different. There is however, a pattern of change that many people experience during times of high emotion and/or change.
- And the second is that whilst I talk about “you” being made redundant, the reality is that it is your position that is made redundant, not you.
There are two parts to this post. The first is some real life experiences from people whose positions have been recently (within the last few months) been made redundant. And the second is the “theory” behind loss and change and grief.
Real life .. How I felt when my position was made redundant..
Some real life experiences, in their words:
Reflections as follows:
My first reaction to being told I was now redundant was one of shock and
disbelief, particularly as I had been told less than two weeks prior to
the news that my field of experience was going to be a focus for the
company going forward yet now I was informed that they didn¹t see a future
for it.
The days and weeks that followed were a roller coaster of emotions –
anxiety over the future and the financial security of my family, anger at
the way I had been treated and unsure of what and who to believe.
Finally though, with the support of family and friends, I was able to let
it go, wish my former colleagues well and look to the future and more
exciting prospects…
“..I knew that once I heard the word “You have been made redundant” I would go through different emotional stages, even though I never experienced it before.
The first stage is “Shock”, especially if you haven’t seeing it coming. Adrenaline rushed through my body same as when you are in a danger situation. It felt like I wanted to protect myself against someone or something that wants to harm me and my family.
The next step is questioning. “What happened and why?” The mind is trying to understand and analyse the reason why I have been made redundant. Why me and not someone else? I always exceeded my KPI’s and I always gave myself a 110% to the company. You visualize all those different moments and situations on and on, trying to make sense of it.
Next I went through an energy boost phase. Getting a plan together with whom to connect. Contacting all my connections and companies that could be on the lookout for someone like me. This was an easy task for me due to networking being a major part of the work I am doing.
I organised multiple interviews straight away, spoke to God and to the world and made sure not to have a single day where I wasn’t calling or meeting someone. I knew that if I would let go and not keep active, depression or a low would hit me. Once you are in that space it is very had to get out of it and surely not constructive for new opportunities.
I knew that the anger phase would come sooner or later. I got really upset about my Director, the way I have been treated, the lack of appreciation from the company, the little or non support from colleagues. I started to analyse everything, from why certain colleagues had reacted in a certain way over the past few weeks, to comments that my Director had made etc. The mind goes crazy.
My solution was to run a lot, to keep the body moving, knowing that it is a part of the process to go through all those emotions.
I know that everything in life has a reason. Having been made redundant opens up the space to start something new.
I feel peace inside of me now and I am excited to start something new. It is all about to see it as a great new opportunity instead of a failure. Looking for the positive in this situation will create positive outcomes, meeting and opportunities..”
The theory of grief/loss
Why use a grief model in relation to redundancy? Losing a job is often a very emotional experience and people often talk about it in terms of loss. Not just about loss of the job itself, but also loss of income, loss of sense of self etc. There can be a very real sense of grief associated with the process.
Elisabeth Kugler-Ross created a famous model in which she talks about the five stages of grief. There are some key things to emphasise about this model:
- It isn’t linear.
- You don’t typically progress neatly from one stage to another.
- Not everyone experiences every stage.
- Not every stage is equal in length or intensity.
- You may regress from one stage back to a previous one.
- Any or all of these are normal.
The Stages of Loss
Shock Disbelief / Denial — “It’s not true. It can’t be happening”
Anger — “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame?”
Guilt/ Bargaining — “It must be my fault”
Depression — “Why bother with anything?”
Acceptance — “It’s going to be okay.”
The website proactive change has this to say about grief/loss:
“..At such a time, it doesn’t serve to deny the pain. Grief is a natural process, and there is an emotional logic to it. Riding it, as opposed to fighting it, will lead to healing. What helps is to observe it with compassion, to experience it without being swallowed by it…“
Some final thoughts..
Whilst loss isn’t linear, and going back and forth is usual and normal, if you find yourself stuck in a stage for a long period and are unable to move, then it might be time to think about getting some external help.
If your old employer has made available outplacement support, strongly consider using this. Even if you are confident with getting another job, it is almost always a useful process to have an impartial person frame your skills and experience. You may end up seeing things that you didn’t see before. Some outplacement support offers a profiling report which can also be a source of clarity and insight about you and the way you view the world.
It’s easy to say when you are not in the middle of it, but there are times where I hear that in retrospect, being made redundant was one of the “best things that could have ever happened”. This takes time of course. And it may feel very unlikely whilst you are in the middle of a job search, but there is almost always light at the end of the tunnel.
Until next week.
