Well this is unexpected..
In yet another side effect of COVID-19, the Society for Human Resource Management reported that over the course of Covid-19, there was a blossoming of workplace romances.
A new SHRM survey found 33% of respondents said that they’re “currently involved or have been involved in a workplace romance.” This is around 6% higher than before the Covid-19 pandemic.
When it goes wrong
If we often meet our intimate partners in the workplace, why is it increasingly seeming to be an issue? It’s the question that most often accompanies the latest news of a high-profile executive resigning because of a relationship. Jeff Zucker, President of CNN is the latest in a series of executives to resign.
Which raises the question of how is it anyone’s business other than those that are involved? Why do we care what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes? Is it just more evidence of PC land gone mad? Let’s walk through what can be a somewhat tricky issue of balancing the rights of individuals to have a private life, and the implications of those private lives in the workplace.
It can be a fraught issue. Firstly, what starts as a consensual relationship can be used as a weapon by one or both parties when it ends, particularly if it ends badly; either through threats of exposing private messages or photographs, or more broadly disclosing the relationship to others within a person’s private life or work. The damage this can do to the reputations of those involved cannot be underestimated. Where disclosing this as a claim of sexual harassment, an organisation is going to investigate, often uncovering interactions between the parties that were never intended to be made public. Regardless of the outcome of an investigation, it’s rare that either party escapes completely unscathed.
When it goes public
Where a relationship becomes public, the interactions of both parties are retrospectively put under the microscope. Is there a clear power imbalance? How does this play itself out? Was there impropriety in some form? A conflict of interest? Did one party provide the other party a benefit of some kind based on their relationship. Was confidential information shared in pillow talk? It all becomes unsavoury grist for the rumour mill, sullying the reputations of one or both parties.
The impact more broadly
Some other things to think about are the effects of the relationship on the wider teams and colleagues. When things go wrong, and there’s the inevitable sharing of the latest drama, this has an unintended emotional contagion at best. At its worst, it means that opinions and reputations are affected by colleagues and team members knowing personal details about a private relationship.
The Takeaway
It’s unrealistic to expect that relationships won’t occur in the workplace. It’s the secrecy of those relationships that is problematic from a workplace sense. Many organisations now have a duty to disclose relationships, if not publicly, then to an immediate supervisor and or Human Resources. It’s where those disclosures don’t take place and the relationship subsequently becomes public where it can be tricky for all the reasons listed above.
For the individuals concerned, be aware that people are watching. Too many long lunches or PDAs and colleagues might just start eye rolling.
And whilst HR doesn’t want to add romance police to its otherwise long job description, having a clear organisational policy on this stuff is becoming critical.
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