We have been debunking leadership myths over recent months. Today, we are talking about the myth that being a leader means that you have to be removed. That is, that a leader somehow has an invisible line that separates them from their followers; a line that can’t be crossed. A formality about them.
What does being removed look like?
I had an interesting discussion with someone last week around a style of leadership where the person in question walked around, knew everyone and something about them, and was generally “there”, “present”. There was a query around whether this person was a bit too connected, a bit too soft perhaps maybe? Not “appropriate” enough for a leader.
The flip side to this example is leaders who don’t (or can’t) connect with their staff. Who don’t know their people’s names or what they do. Where there is no relationship other than a formal, civil one borne of positional power. Where they have an office, possibly even protected by an assistant of some sort, with frosted or non existent windows and the door closed. A physical message of inaccessibility.
Why does this matter? And which approach is the right one?
As an illustration of the power of being connected rather than removed, let’s revisit the case of Arthur T. Demoulas; the the grocery store CEO who was so beloved that when he was fired in a coup, his staff staged a protest that resulted in him being rehired.
Harvard Business Review research has this to say:
A growing body of research suggests that the way to influence—and to lead—is to begin with warmth. Warmth is the conduit of influence: It facilitates trust and the communication and absorption of ideas. Even a few small nonverbal signals—a nod, a smile, an open gesture—can show people that you’re pleased to be in their company and attentive to their concerns. Prioritizing warmth helps you connect immediately with those around you, demonstrating that you hear them, understand them, and can be trusted by them.
Or, as they put it – “connect, then lead”.
Deciding which path is right for you as a leader
Whichever approach you take as a leader, it needs to be a conscious one.
If you decide that being removed is the right thing for you, take some time to think through the whys of this decision. What is the impact of the decision? On you, your role, how you are perceived. Think through what is holding you back from connecting (shyness? culture? your view of what a leader does in terms of positional power?).
Likewise, if being connected makes sense, then think through when this might negatively impact your role (when you need to make hard decisions? being thought of as “too close”)
These sorts of decisions need to be real and authentic.
It’s no good deciding to do something because you’ve been told it’s a good idea. You need to genuinely believe that it is the right thing to do. If it’s fake, people see through that.
Debunking the myth
The research, both quantitative and qualitative shows that being real, being authentic, being connected and being human pays off when it comes to leadership. No longer is it about the removed – about relying on positional power.
Other myths we have debunked so far: #1: that leaders think that they cannot show any vulnerability or be anything less than perfect; but how the reality is that showing vulnerability builds trust, a fundamental component of great leadership. #2: that you need to have some sort of inspiring back story in order to be a leader, when the reality is being true to yourself and doing it authentically and genuinely every day is as powerful. #3: you need to be oozing charisma. #4 that leadership means the person at the top.
If you think you’d like to change the way that you lead but don’t know how, consider using a leadership coach to work with you on your journey to finding your best (and real) leadership style. Contact me to discuss how to find the best coach for you.
Until next time, happy leading.
