It seems like almost every part of our lives has the capacity to bring up issues or questions or problems that are seemingly unresolvable.
I just don’t know what to do
is such a common phrase. Usually followed by, “what would you do?” or “please help me work out what to do.”
The thing is though, someone else’s solution to our problem/issue/question is just that, someone else’s.
Not our solution.
And there is often a discounting of the solution for exactly that reason. It’s like when you get something for free rather than having to buy it. Whilst there is usually gratitude for it, it is not usually as valued as something that YOU have had to work hard for. So too with advice from others. Usually, we are grateful for the time and their perspective – but it is as easily disregarded or discounted.
What to do then, when you don’t know what to do?
The fundamental tenet of personal coaching (whether that be leadership coaching or life coaching) is that each of us has the capacity to resolve our own issues. And whilst coaching facilitates a conversation or process that allows us to work out the issue and come to a solution or a resolution, ultimately, it is the individual who arrives at that solution, not the coach.
And isn’t that great news?
So, back to the question of what to do if you don’t know what to do.. As it turns out, there is plenty:
- I have previously shared the Heath Brothers’ 6 questions to help with dilemmas. You can read that post here, and it has some wonderful questions to ask yourself.
- I bought The Decision Book on one of my recent interstate trips. It has fifty models for strategic thinking, and can be as easily and usefully applied to those “I just don’t know what to do” situations. It is an easy book to read and understand and a useful addition to your bookshelf.
- Tune into that voice inside that is telling you the answer (but gets shut down pretty efficiently by fear and other emotions).
- Get a coach or a friend to take you through a coaching process.
- Read this article I wrote for Flying Solo on the six steps you can take to solve your problems.
So, the answer to “I just don’t know what to do” is: yes, yes you do. Maybe just not yet. If you use any of the above techniques, and you find it useful, please report back!
Until next time, happy leading.
